Hello, There is a question that people with learning differences hear again and again. What is wrong. It is often asked with concern. Sometimes with frustration. Sometimes with good intentions. But it carries a heavy message. It suggests that the problem lives inside the person.
For a long time, I was asked that question. When I struggled to start work. When I could not follow instructions. When I seemed distracted or slow. Each time, it made me search for a flaw in myself rather than looking at what was making the task difficult. There is a different question that changes everything.
What is hard.
This question does something important. It moves the focus away from blame and towards understanding. It assumes that the person is capable, but that something in the task, the environment, or the timing is creating friction. When a child is asked what is wrong, they often shut down. When they are asked what is hard, they are invited to explain.
For some children, the hard part is starting. For others, it is remembering instructions. For others, the page itself feels crowded and overwhelming. None of these things say anything about intelligence. They tell us where support is needed. The same shift matters in classrooms.
A learner who appears disengaged may not be refusing to listen. They may be struggling to process spoken instructions over background noise. A learner who avoids writing may not lack motivation. They may be overwhelmed by organising their thoughts on the page. This question also matters for adults.
Many people with dyslexia speak to themselves in ways they would never speak to someone else. I am stupid. I cannot do this. I always mess things up. Replacing those thoughts with a different question can be powerful. What is hard right now. Sometimes the answer is the font.
Sometimes it is the time pressure. Sometimes it is the way the information is presented. When we identify what is hard, we can adjust it. When we only ask what is wrong, we stay stuck.
This week, I invite you to try this shift just once. With a child. With a student. Or with yourself. Notice what changes in the conversation when you stop looking for a fault and start looking for a barrier. If you feel able, you are welcome to reply and share what you noticed.
Those reflections often help others more than you realise.
Thank you for being here.